seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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