Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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