u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think people are normalizing furries
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
