I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
