I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
