i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
