I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
