whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
