If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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