I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
