I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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