why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
