It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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