the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
