Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
