Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
wow bdsm is so cute
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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