ADVERTISEMENT

• (256): View more from Alabama

  Did he leave or is he still there?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.

  Fav 4 913 1942

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.

  Fav 18 5655 1269

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home

  Fav 29 9311 1550

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.

  Fav 15 4050 1698

  share tweet
  

• (574): View more from Indiana

  Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..

  Fav 13 1304 3559

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.

  Fav 10 3449 1131

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond

  Fav 19 2794 1311

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.

  Fav 4 1980 908

  share tweet
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

  (850): View more from Florida

  This has already gotten way out of hand

  Fav 4 1594 885

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is

  Fav 7 1484 1174

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.

  Fav 1 1597 799

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (989): View more from Michigan

  You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.

  Fav 1 854 496

  share tweet
  

• (915): View more from Texas

  Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.

  Fav 0 568 374

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement

  Fav 1 503 561

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (850): View more from Florida

  Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body

  Fav 1 287 185

  share tweet
  

Randomize