I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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