I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
