how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
