im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
