i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
