it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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