Will you blow on my dice?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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