I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
