White coat. Heels.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
