And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The air taste purple.
Randomize
