I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
