wakey wakey hands off snakey
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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