What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
