thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
