Don't you send me to vm
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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