I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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