I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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