I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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