My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
