Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize