He had one of those small greek statue penises
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
