I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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