she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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