dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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