I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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