I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
