he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
...so i touched it.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize