Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Who died my cat blue again?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
