I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
