About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
