shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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