So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
