I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
