am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
