so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
