what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
