I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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