I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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