i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize