Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
