Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
