You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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