why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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