Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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