I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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