just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
