I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
