and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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