i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
