I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
