You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize