every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
