Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
